I choose joy.

I choose joy.

It’s not always easy, when things don’t go the way you planned or envisioned, when those closest to you don’t seem to understand, when your future is as clear the fog on a late wintery morning, when you’ve found something wonderful but God has told you to wait for His timing.

When world around you seems to spiral and start caving in, at first you resist and fight back with all the strength you have… but then at some point or another, you grow tired. You’re tired of fighting. So you allow yourself to be taken up by the tornado and are drawn into the spiral. Your worry and anxiety sucks up all the life in you. You are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausted from being thrown back and forth. What to do? Do you crawl into your turtle shell wishing to hibernate this season or just watch Netflix all day? Or will you frantically grasp at what’s left in your life floating around you?

This honestly describes how I have been feeling in this season. This is been one of the most difficult seasons in my life, having to make difficult decisions and continue to make such decisions while still navigating the unknown. It’s so easy for me to slip into depression, self-doubt and anxiety, and get caught up in the waves.

But Jesus calls out to me. He extends His hand towards me, with eyes full of mercy and compassion and a smile that says “I know.”

“Fix your eyes on me,” He says. “I will get you through this. Haven’t I been faithful all this time? All those times you never thought you could make it, I was there. When you were in the pit of darkness and despair, I was there. (Psalm 40:2). In your bouts of loneliness and pain, I was there. I have been with you since the beginning of time, before you were even formed in your mother’s womb, I knew you. I set you apart for me. (Jeremiah 1:9). Don’t you know? You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14). I know the number of hairs on your head. I know your greatest weaknesses, insecurities, failures and darkest secrets, but still, I love you and want to pursue you. Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.”

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

“I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11–14).

“The joy of the LORD is your strength,” He says. “You know this. The joy I give you, is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

“Count it all joy, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2–4)

“Don’t you know, I discipline my dear children, whom I love? (Hebrews 12:6, 10). This is for your good and is working for something greater. Do not lose heart. Though your outer self is wasting away, your inner self is being renewed day by day. For your light momentary affliction is preparing for you an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. So fix your eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16–18). I empathize with you in your weakness, as I have been tempted in every way, just as you are — yet I did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15). For the joy set before me, I endured the cross, despising the shame. I did endured nails in my hands, utter humiliation, death and separation from my Father for you. (Hebrews 12:2). Because you are worth it. Because you are loved. Because you are redeemed. So choose joy. Choose Me. My joy will give you strength. Trust Me. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For I, your LORD and God, will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9). Never have I left or forsaken you. (Deuteronomy 31:6). Never will I either.”

So I choose joy.

Though my soul is weary and tired, downcast and tempted to despair, I shall hope in my Savior. (Psalm 42:5, 11). For the joy set before me, I will count it all joy.