God, where are you?

Why have you allowed these things to happen?

Are you out there, are you listening?

I am tired.

I am weary.

I am worn.

I cried coming out of the Chinese Lantern Festival this past Saturday.

I cried, because for the first time since the chaos of this election, I felt proud to be both Chinese and American.

I cried, because still, in the midst of so much disagreement and division, still, people were gathering. Gathering to celebrate a culture and a people, to celebrate a new year together.

I cried when I saw the University Mall crowded as I’ve ever seen it, filled with faces of awe, representing a fragrant potpourri of colors, backgrounds and upbringings.

I cried, because I was so proud of the Chinese parents who weren’t afraid to dream big in putting together this event. Who came together and gathered the young, old and in-between to embark on a daunting endeavor with little time to spare.

I cried when I saw the excitement of the children crowded around the tables making lanterns and little dragon boats, because they were learning to embrace a culture foreign to their own. And for the little Asian American boys and girls, they were learning to embrace, not disdain, their own.

I did not expect to experience such strong emotion, but these past couple of weeks, I (as well as many of my friends) have intentionally avoided the news and social media, because the bombardment of the news was just unbearable. To see people so caught up in politics that they forget about the people that the government is to serve…. was too much for me to bear.

This past year has brought out so much ugliness, hate, and fear out in people. It brought to light the darkness in our hearts. From every side. All of us included.

It has been heavily disconcerting and discouraging to say the least.

However, we must not let ourselves be paralyzed by fear or defeat.

We must press on.

My friends, my dear brothers and sisters, we must not lose heart.

We must not lose sight of hope, and moments like these, moments of coming together.

There are always multiple perspectives to a situation, so we must continue to listen and try to work out solutions together. It’s never easy to have conversations with those you vehemently disagree with, but it is an opportunity to learn and love.

This past election has brought out a lot of the dirt that was already in our hearts; and now that it is brought to the surface, we can now work to sanitize those areas of our lives.

It is so easy to look at another and see their wrongs, but what of the plank in our own eye?

“But they are wrong! Can’t they see they are so wrong?” I feel that too. I recently had a heated conversation with someone I care about very deeply about the recent travel ban on Muslim countries. This person was concerned, fearful of people who have done horrendous things in the name of Islam. But then again, this person had never had a friend who was a Muslim.

It is so easy to conflate a religion and a people, a government and a people. They are not one in the same. People are such multifaceted, dynamic beings, each one possessing a precious quality that no one else harnesses, except for them, and only them. We can’t lump people into groups just because of one distinguishing quality. We can’t.

Honestly, I hardly have any of the answers. I don’t know what would be the best policy to balance everyone’s interests, I don’t know how exactly to solve these overbearing issues.

But one thing I do know is the power of radical compassion.

A compassion that teaches you to love and pray for your enemies, strangers, the marginalized, those who seemingly represent what we’re fearful of. A compassion that seeks to understand even when it feels like you can’t. A compassion compelled to act, to keep our leaders accountable for truly serving the interest of the people, join your voices with the silenced, welcome the unwelcomed into your homes and communities. Do what is true, noble, right, and just.

This is what will and has changed the world. It is what transforms the indifferent to forces for change.

“I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by good. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.

Many, including myself, have questioned God’s role in this world. Is He a king or a pawn?

It is hard to believe at times, but we must preach to ourselves the sovereignty of our God; we may not understand all that He is doing, but indeed, He works for the good of those who love Him. His ways are higher than our ways, and He has already used this to bring people closer to Him. We must preach to ourselves the hope and promises He gives us. He has promised never to leave or forsake us. We must hold onto His hope, or else we will be consumed by fear and defeat. For He has promised us:

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for our souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Find strength and rest in Him, and do not lose heart. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So, let us hope fearlessly, love fiercely, and be as bold to have the faith of a mustard seed, which can move mountains.