Breaking up with friends

Keep trying

Try

Try

Again

You tell yourself

But after your trying times

You’re tired of trying

It’s so easy to romanticize the past that you forget to cherish the present,

what’s directly in front of you

Friends who come for certain seasons of your life

will they come back some other time or never?

You told me you didn’t know if you could give me all the love I needed.

I told you, you were right; only God could do that, but the truth of your statement has absorbed in deeper as time, distance and different paths have driven a gap between me and people I thought would be forever.

It’s so easy to be friends when you’re both so accessible to each other, along for the same ride. “Friends of convenience?” I ask myself.

But no, of course we weren’t and had so much more than that. Unforgettable memories, long night conversations, doing the ordinary, out-of the ordinary, and extraordinary with one another

It’s not all lost.

Though sometimes it feels as if it is.

What I’ve realized through it all, is that relationships aren’t so straight and unyielding

They are flexible and malleable to the ebbs and flows of our individual lives

Sometimes life takes an unsuspected turn, carrying us off to a place we could never imagine — good or bad — a place demanding what seems like our constant attention. I understand. It happens to me too. Life happens.

Sometimes it feels like there are never enough hours in the day. Hours to be a productive-working individual, to spend with your loved ones, to spend time with yourself… there simply isn’t enough time. So you have to pick and choose. Prioritize.

Sometimes you just have so much on your plate, you really can’t think about anyone else at that moment, you have to take care of yourself. You come first. Yes, please take care of yourself.

So I don’t blame you. Please don’t blame me. We enjoyed our time together, we laughed until we cried, cried until we laughed, doing every clichéd thing under the sun… but still, we had a uniqueness, a distinctive quality to us, no other mix, match or combination could recreate us.

It’s not that our breaking up was necessarily conscious or intentional, but it just happened. We drifted apart, pulled by the magnetic fields of our careers, community and personal lives.

I will always cherish our memories dearly, but I’ve realized there’s come a time to let go. To keep these memories safe in the treasure chest of my heart, but stop holding onto to them for fear of losing them. They will always be there, as will I.